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ದೇವರೇ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಅದ್ಯಾವುದೋ ಭಾವ, ಮನಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಚುಚ್ಚಿ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ತರುತ್ತಿದೆ... ಹಾಗಂತ ಆ ಭಾವದ ಅರ್ಥ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದಲ್ಲ. ಅದಕ್ಕೊಂದು ಹೆಸರು ಕೊಡಲು ನನಗೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ ಅಷ್ಟೆ.

ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಮನಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಗಟ್ಟಿಗೊಳಿಸಿ, ವಾಸ್ತವಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊಂದಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿರುವ ಈ ಸಂದರ್ಭದಲ್ಲಿ....ಈ ಭಾವ ನನ್ನ ಕಾಡಬಾರದಿತ್ತು. ಈ ಭಾವಕ್ಕೇನು ಹೇಳಲಿ..? ನನ್ನವರು ನನಗೇ ಸೇರಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಆಕಾಂಕ್ಷೆ ಇದು. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ಪ್ರತಿಯಾಗಿ ಅಷ್ಟೇ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಸಿಗಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಹಂಬಲ ಇದು. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ಯಾವುದೇ ಅಡತಡೆ ಇರಬಾರದು ಎಂಬ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆ ಇದು. ಭೂತಕಾಲದ ಪ್ರಭಾವ ವಾಸ್ತವದ ಮೇಲೆ ಏಕಿದೆ ಎಂಬ ಘಾಡ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ನನ್ನದು. ವಾಸ್ತವದ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯೆದುರು ಮುರಿದುಬಿದ್ದ ಆ ಭೂತಕಾಲದ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಜೊತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಕುದುರಿಸುವ ಅವನ ಬಯಕೆಗೆ ಇರುವ ವಿರೋಧವಿದು. ಈ ಭಾವಕ್ಕೇನು ಹೆಸರು ಕೊಡಲಿ..?

ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಲ್ಲೇನಾದರೂ ಮೋಸವಿದೆಯಾ ...? ಅಥವಾ ಕೊರತೆ ಇದೆಯಾ? ಬೇಡವೆಂದು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊಸದೊಂದು ಸಂಬಂಧ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಂಡ ಮೇಲೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಹಿಂದುರಿಗಿ ನೋಡುವ ಅವನ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಧಿಕ್ಕಾರವಿದೆ. ಬದುಕಿನಲ್ಲಿಯ ಆಸೆಯೇ ಬತ್ತಿಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ, ಅಭಿಲಾಶೆಯ ಚಿಲುಮೆಯೊಡೆದು ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆಗಳ ದಾರಿ ತೋರಿದ ಹೊಂಬೆಳಕಿನಂತೆ ಅವನು. ಮನಸಿನಾಗಸದಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವನ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಎಂಬ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಉದಯಿಸಲು ಕಾರಣಕರ್ತನೇ ಅವನು. ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ಅವನನ್ನು ಕಸಿದುಕೊಳ್ಳಬೇಡ ದೇವರೇ... ಎಂದು ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಹೊತ್ತಿನ ವರೆಗೆ ದೇವರನ್ನೇ ದಿಟ್ಟಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಮನಸಿನಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ದೇವರ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತನಾಡುತ್ತಿರುವ ಅವಳು...ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದಾಳೆ.. ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಮೊಬೈಲ್‌ ರಿಂಗಾಗಿದ್ದು ಕೇಳಿ ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದೆದ್ದು ಹೊರಟವಳಿಗೆ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದು ಮನೆಯ ಕಾಲಿಂಗ್ ಬೆಲ್‌. ಓಡೋಡಿ ಹೋಗಿ ಮನೆಯ ಬಾಗಿಲು ತೆರೆದಾಗ ಎದುರಿಗಿದ್ದವ ಅವಳ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಗಂಡ. ಇಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಆಫೀಸಿನಿಂದ ಬಂದಿರಾ ಎಂಬಂತೆ ಪ್ರಶ್ನಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅವಳ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯದ ಮುಖಭಾವಕ್ಕೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು, ಹೌದು ನಿನಗೋಸ್ಕರ ಬೇಗ ಬಂದೆ ಎಂಬ ಉತ್ತರ.

ನನ್ನೊಂದಿಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದ ಇರುವ ಈತ ಹಳೆಯ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯನ್ನೂ ಯಾಕೆ ನೆನಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾನೋ...? ಎಂಬ ನೋವಿನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಉಳಿದು ಹೋಯಿತು.ಅವನು ನನ್ನಮೇಲಿಟ್ಟಿರುವ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ನಿಷ್ಕಲ್ಮಶ, ಆದರೆ, ಅವಳ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿಯೂ ಒಡನಾಟವಿದೆ.. ಇದನ್ನು ಹೇಗೆ ಸಹಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲಿ... ಇವತ್ತು ಏನೇ ಆಗಲಿ ಈ ವಿಷಯ ಆತನಲ್ಲಿ ಚರ್ಚಿಸಲೇ ಬೇಕು.. ಎಂಬ ಧೃಢ ನಿರ್ಧಾರ ಅವಳ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ.

ಹೆಂಡತಿಯ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮೊದಲೇ ತನಗೆ ತಿಳಿದಿರುವಂತೆ... ಚಿಂತಿಸಬೇಡ ಚಿನ್ನ... ಎಲ್ಲ ನೀನಂದುಕೊಂಡಂತೆಯೇ ಆಗುತ್ತಿದೆ... ಎಂಬ ನಸು ನಗುವಿನೊಂದಿಗೆ ಬಂದ ಆತನ ಮಾತು. ಅನಿರೀಕ್ಷಿತವಾಗಿ ಬಂತ ಉತ್ತರದಿಂದ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯಗೊಂಡು ಆತನನ್ನೇ ದಿಟ್ಟಿಸಿ, ಏನೋ ಮಾತನಾಡಲು ಹೊರಟವಳಿಗೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದು, ಮನೆಯ ಕಾಲಿಂಗ್‌ ಬೆಲ್‌. ತನ್ನ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ ಬಾಗಿಲು ತೆರೆಯಲು ಎದ್ದವಳ ತಡೆಯದೇ ಶಾಂತನಾಗಿ ಕುಳಿತಿದ್ದ ಅವನು.

ಮನೆಯ ಬಾಗಿಲು ತೆರೆದಾಗ ಕಂಡವರು ಒಬ್ಬ ಹುಡುಗಿ ಮತ್ತು ಮಧ್ಯವಯಸ್ಕ ಹೆಣ್ಣು. ಅಪರಿಚಿತರಾದ ಅವರನ್ನು ಏನೂ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಮಾಡದೆ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಇವಳು ನೀಡಿದ್ದು ನಗುವಿನ ಆಹ್ವಾನ. ಅವರಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಮನೆಯೊಳಗೆ ಪ್ರವೇಶ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಂತೆ ಎದ್ದು ಬಂದ ಆತನಿಂದಲೇ ಇವಳಿಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು ಅಪರಿಚಿತರ ಪರಿಚಯ. ಎಲ್ಲೋ ನೋಡಿದಂತಿರುವ ಈ ಹುಡುಗಿ ಯಾರು ಎಂಬುದು ಈ ಸ್ಪಷ್ಟವಾಯಿತು. ಇವಳೇ ಅವಳು ಎಂದು.

ತನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಆಹ್ವಾನ ಪತ್ರಿಕೆ ನೀಡಲು ತನ್ನ ತಾಯಿಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದ ಹುಡುಗಿಗೆ ಅರಿಶಿನ ಕುಂಕುಮ ಕೊಟ್ಟು, ಶುಭಹಾರೈಸಿದಳು. ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಸಿಹಿ ತಿನಿಸು ನೀಡಿ ಪುರಸ್ಕರಿಸಿದಳು. ಥೇಟ್‌ ತನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನಂತೆ ಭಾಸವಾದ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮೃದು ಸ್ವಭಾವ ಅವಳಿಗೂ. ನಗುನಗುತ್ತಲೇ ತನ್ನೊಂದಿಗೆ ಬೆರೆತ ಅವರಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಇವಳಿಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟವಾದರು.

ಮುಂದಿನ ತಿಂಗಳವೇ ನನ್ನ ಮದುವೆ. ನೀವಿಬ್ಬರೂ ನನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಬರಲೇ ಬೇಕು ಎಂದು ಆಹ್ವಾನಿಸಿದ ಆ ಹುಡುಗಿ ಪರ ದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಗಂಡನ ಫೋಟೋ ತೋರಿಸಿದಳು. ತುಂಬಾ ಮುದ್ದಾದ ಜೋಡಿ ಅದು. ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಬಂದೇ ಬರುತ್ತೇವೆ ಎಂದ ಆತ ಮತ್ತು ಅವಳ ಭರವಸೆಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ತಾಯಿ, ಮಗಳು ಹೊರಟರು.

‘ನಿನ್ನ ನಾನು ತುಂಬಾ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ’, ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ಎಂದಿಗೂ ದೂರಾಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ ವಿಚಾರವನ್ನು ಈಗ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಒಪ್ಪುತ್ತೀಯಾ? ಎಂಬ ಆತನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಅವಳ ಸಂತಸದ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ಉತ್ತರಿಸಿತು. ನಿನ್ನಂತ ಸರಳ, ಸಾಧು ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಹುಡುಗಿ ನನಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು ನನ್ನ ಪುಣ್ಯ, ನೀನೇ ನನಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲ. ಎಂಬ ಗಂಡನ ಮಾತು, ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಗುಡ್ಡದಂತೆ ಕೂತಿದ್ದ ಎಲ್ಲ ನೋವುಗಳನ್ನು ಬೆಣ್ಣೆಯಂತೆ ಕರಗಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು....

ಸಂತಸದಿಂದ ದೇವರ ಮನೆಗೆ ಓಡಿದ ಅವಳನ್ನು ಹಿಂಬಾಲಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಂದ ಆತನಿಗೆ ಕಂಡಿದ್ದು, ತನ್ನ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಸಂತಸದಿಂದ ಬೆಳಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ‘ದೇವರ ಮನೆಯ ತುಪ್ಪದ ದೀಪ’.

- ಅಮೃತಾ ಹೆಗಡೆ
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ಚಿತ್ರಕೃಪೆ - http://nikhilroynikz.wordpress.com/tag/pencil-shading/

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